Tuesday, June 14, 2011

It's hard to tell people how you really feel when you're hurt.  (Especially when it's people that you've known all your life or people who were supposed to protect you...)  It's even difficult writing them down.  You think you're going to give them that letter telling them how rotten they made you feel, you put all your feelings down on paper, get the envelope ready, and then...put it in a drawer.

You don't want to bring things up that have long been forgotten by *them*, even though you still feel as though it were still happening.  So to those people, people in my life who never thought I'd amount to anything, those who didn't protect me when it counted (not just for show), those people that used me for what I had and then didn't have, I have something to tell you:

I am a wonderful mother and my children are my world.
I am a good and faithful wife.
I believe in God and I have a relationship with Him even if I don't go to church every Sunday.
I am working my way to that Creative Writing degree and I'm not dropping out of college.
I am an efficient and hard worker at a reputable research institute - when you thought I'd never get anywhere without a degree.
I may not have a lot of money, but money doesn't make you rich - love does.
I stand by my parents - especially my mother who is the most courageous person I know - when you wouldn't.
I don't lie - and I didn't when I was little either.
I love and care and everything with my whole heart.
I am not ashamed of who I have become, what I did, what I went through...because everything made me strong enough to get through it.

And for all these things and more, I forgive but I don't forget.

It feels good to write this down, get it off my chest.  Although *they* will never ever read this - it's here - out in the open.

And now I will close that chapter in my book of life and start writing the new one.

Photo Credit:  http://www.weheartit.com/

And to all of you who love me and care...I love you right back and care twice as much about you.

~ Nay ~


Nicole said...

there are a lot of things I wish I could say...and it's only to one person. Too bad that person doesn't care to hear what I think. = (

Nay said...

But I do...and always will.

Anonymous said...

Always be Candid and Open-Always Be true to 'YOU'... It's a Powerful thing, and in so doing you help others muster up the Courage to do the Same!! Well said...~Wendy~

Nay said...

xoxo Wendy - thanks friend:)

ShanimalsCrackers.blogspot.com said...

I felt this way just yesterday! I think it's helpful to write down all your good qualities so that you can reflect on them during a difficult time!

Nay said...

I'm not the only one?! Woo-hoo!
Nice seeing you, Shanimals!

MW said...

love u! Well written! :)

Nay said...

thank you cus - love you tooooo!