Tuesday, December 20, 2011

a sigh of relief...

You know how some days you wonder, "what if....?"

Well I used to do that a lot until one day
I woke up


I remembered.
I remembered what it was like to be out in the world alone.
I remembered how much I hated the dating scene, the game of the chase, and thinking I would never have anything or anyone of my own.

I remembered how my 20s were full of doubt.
Would I live with my parents forever, never venturing out on my own under the safety net they provided?
Would I never know what real love was, always chasing what never wanted me?
Was life always going to be a struggle of unrequited love?
Was I ever going to have children?
I prayed everyday that God would lead my future husband to my life path.
That He would give me a man that was ready for me and would protect me and shower me with the love I knew I deserved.  But in all those prayers I was still very doubtful. I feared that God hadn't dealt those cards out to me. I thought His plan for me was very different.
Had I only just trusted then I would have known that the cards had already been dealt long long before.

He had put me through trials and tribulations because He was readying me for what I have now.
He wanted me to be strong enough for what lay ahead.
And what came my way was molded in His hands
with so much thought and love, 
I could never have dreamt it on my own.
 He just wanted to be sure I was ready.
When I finally was, He gave me all the wishes of my heart.

The man I prayed for was ready too and had always been in my life.
I didn't know that I'd marry my best friend! God gave me someone who knew me inside and out. He prepared us for each other by making us friends first and then molding us to each other.
It wasn't easy (I played way too hard to get), but God was patient.

Now I am married with two kids and it is just as it should be.
No if, ands, or buts about it.
Once I trusted the One that knows what was best for me, the true me, all was right in my world.

I no longer need to worry if I'll be alone- He brought me my life partner- or if there was an answer to all those,"will it ever happen?"
He just drew the right masterpiece for my life on His canvas!
And for that I am no longer fearful.
I put my life in His open arms and never look back.

That's what I feel we should all remember...
He knows what He's doing even when we don't.
So there's really no need to wonder "what if?" anymore, just "what's next?" :)

~ Nay ~


Sanam said...

super lovely blog :)

Day By Diva
Day By Diva
Day By Diva

Darcie Santoyo said...

that sounds so similar to my story too :)

Manda Jane said...

can't even put into words how much I LOVE this post. And it is so familiar to my situation! Thank you for sharing!

mama marchand said...

Amen, sister friend, amen. :)

Brooke said...

you must have known how much i needed to hear this today.
i constantly wonder when its going to be my turn and if i'm going to be alone forever.... patience and trust...gotta work on that!

Kristy said...

Beautiful Nay!! Simply beautiful!!