Wednesday, July 18, 2012

This is How SHE Does It: What I Didn't Expect {SAHM}

 So what are you thinking of
so far?
{If you've missed the last two installments, look here and here}
 I am loving it so far.
Some of my fave bloggers all week?!  Yes!
And this bloggin' mama is no exception.
If you want a strong supporter and someone who will tell it like it is, look no further.
Megan is the girl you want in your corner - she's fierce and that's what I love about her and her blog.

I can't say it enough how SAHM-cool she is, so that's why she's here...
What I didn't expect {SAHM}
~ Nay ~

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Right? Pinterest via Roseann Lombardo via yourdailyquotes
 Years ago, I thought I knew what being a stay at home mom would be like.  I had this preconceived notion that it was play dates and martinis.  I will freely admit that I was under the impression that stay at home moms were so 1950s.  Didn't my mother and her friends burn their bras so I could be a working mom?  These are the 2000s, and I'm very able and capable and it's my right to "have it all", nay "do it all".  Or so I thought. The reality is that being a "home economist", "domestic diva", or the "CEO of a family", is a job that is so incredibly hard it rarely gets its due.  Most of us are viewed as "non working", as if changing diapers, breastfeeding, or picking up the same damn toys every hour on the hour is a cake walk. I have learned these last 5 years, that being a stay at home mom has it's perks, it's blessings, and it's rewards.  However it's not at all what I expected.
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Yes! Now you have it all... Pinterest via Lorrine Blanchet via googleglassproject
Here is what I now know about the hardest job I never interviewed for. There are no bon-bons, martinis, or personal trainers.  There are however, soggy goldfish crackers, half full juice boxes, and snot on your sleeve.  SAHMotherhood is not glamorous, unless you are famous and/or independently wealthy.  Unless you have an entourage of "people" who help you get ready for the day, you are most likely never ready for the day.  And by "people" I don't mean the short people running around like a pack of wild dogs, trying to break the world record of how many times "mom" or "mommy" can be uttered in a minute.   
Funny Family Ecard: Don't worry sweetie. Mommy is here. I'm just wearing make up.
My kids always freak when my eyebrows are done! someecards
With the glamour gone you will find your uniform.  Yoga pants and Uggs, Jeans and Toms, sweats and Nike's.  Whatever.  Easy becomes the fashion trend you adopt, because really why waste a great ensemble on 2 kids under 3 who will most likely drool, vomit, or grab your white pant leg with Cheeto hands.  If I were to offer advice here I would say shoot for yoga pants and a tank top.  That way you will look like you actually hit the gym before you hit the grocery store.  This way all the people in Target will think that your hair is greasy from working out, and not from skipping another shower because your toddler started screaming as the water started running.
There is always tomorrow.  This is a motto my friend Krysten's grandma told her.  SAHMotherhood means that there is always tomorrow, so if you are anything like me, you live in a constant mode of procrastination.  I can always start (insert housework chore here) tomorrow.  That's why my laundry looks like a mountain range, my base boards look like they were painted to be brown, and that gourmet dinner I pinned, is literally going on the back burner.  As in, I'll just get to that tomorrow.  Tomorrow being when I'm out of mac and cheese, the kids are out of pjs or we're hosting a birthday party at our house. Cooking is optional.  Before I became a SAHM, I really thought that I'd be the mom that made everything from scratch, daily.  Pancakes for breakfast, some kind of vegetable dish for lunch, and an award winning dinner.  Not so much.  For starters, breakfast in our house is a term used very loosely.  Sure, I have been known to bake some cinnamon rolls a morning or two (always from the can), or whip up some chocolate chip pancakes.  Why not?  But I have been also known to toast some french toast sticks, open some string cheese, and on some desperate mornings dole out Oreos.  Because some mornings are harder than others, sometimes lunch is chips and Capri Suns, and sometimes dinners are grilled cheese sandwiches. Cooking is also redefined.  If you have to microwave it, use a pan, or boil something, you my dear have cooked.  Remember that, repeat it, write it and post it on the fridge.  Grilled cheese involves cooking, chicken nuggets require a microwave, and pop tarts are sold next to the breakfast cereal, making them a completely acceptable breakfast food. Someone is going to insult you.  Be ready.  There will be someone who will say, to your face (yes, to your face) that you are "just" a SAHM.  Don't take offence.  Ok, take offence.  They likely have no idea what you do all day.  There will also be someone, famous or otherwise, who will think they know everything there is to know about (insert mothering speciality here), and it will make you feel like a bad mom.  Someone else will talk about how you don't really work, because you don't leave the house in order to clock in and out.  Fine.  Whatever.  Ask them nicely if you can drop your kids off for 24-48 hours.  Then see what they think about your "just" a SAHM-ness. SAHMs don't clock in and out because they are on the clock 24/7.  Like a doctor without the paycheck or the good drugs.  When you stay home with your kids, you are at their disposal.  Whether you like it or not.  It's a 24 hour round the clock job that requires you to be alert, patient, kind, motivated, and perky.  Although I never manage to be all those things at once.
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Yep, 24/7 Pinterest via Nipajaai Naulneda via .someecards
Find success in the small things.  If I'm being honest I will tell you that 6 months into being a SAHM I felt like a failure.  I was home all day, with just one child and most days I didn't even shower.  I felt like there weren't enough hours in the day.  Slowly I realized that the little successes of the day, motivated me for the bigger ones to follow.  For example my kids ate veggies today.  A meal was actually cooked on Tuesday.  A load of laundry got washed and dried on Thursday.  Sometimes happy kids, who ate 3 squares, who were on their best behavior at Target (while sipping on ICEEs), and who are now quietly playing while the Fresh Beat Band sings in the background is a MAJOR SUCCESS.  The laundry will be there, the dishes can wait, and I have yet to inspect a baseboard at another moms house yet. 
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Not just SAHMs, but working ones too! Pinterest via Reita Prey via
I'm not the expert on being a SAHM.  I'm just one of many, who tries to navigate my way through the ups and downs of a demanding job, with a demanding schedule, and 2 very demanding bosses.  Maybe I have a problem with priorities, some may say I'm lazy.  This is just a little look into what I have discovered doing the hardest job that requires no license, no application, prerequisites, or an interview.  Thank God.  Otherwise, I would have never gotten this job in the first place!
PS: I have no idea what it's like to be a working mom.
I've worked part time in the past and I'm horrible at it.
If you are a working mom, your job is harder than mine.
Don't let anyone tell you any different.
I can barely get my kid to school on time, and usually I'm in my pjs.


AbsoluteMommy said...

Thanks for having me over today!!

Reannah @ {Shaped by Grace} said...

You're right, Nay! Megan is a great supportive blog friend. :) Loved this post too! :) As a working mom I'm so jealous of SAHM's! Even though it's not as glamorous as I wish to remember it! But the thought of Yoga pants and tank tops all day is a bonus. xoxo Happy week girlies!!! xoxo

rororoyourboat710 said...

SAHM or working mom...being a mom is HARD WORK. I don't care what anybody says. People judge me on the regular and I've learned to accept that it's going to happen. Having two teenagers and two infants, while babysitting two or more babies everyday, NOBODY has the right to tell me I don't work. I'm in your corner, Megan! You go, girl!